How to Prepare for Birth When You Actually Hate Meditating and Yoga

Let me start by saying this: relaxation is essential when preparing for birth, but how we get there looks different for everyone.

This post is for the people who feel overwhelmed by the idea of turning their lives upside down to become a calm, meditating, yoga-loving pregnant person.

If that’s you — welcome!

If meditation and yoga come naturally to you, wonderful! But if they don’t, there’s another way.

Learning to relax isn’t about controlling birth. It’s about accessing an important tool that gives you confidence and having something to return to when things get intense — a breath, a grounding thought, a familiar rhythm.

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You Don’t Have to Become Someone New

Adding more to your plate won’t make you zen, it’ll likely spike your cortisol, wreck your sleep, and leave you more overwhelmed.

What if preparing for birth was about taking things off your plate, not piling more on?

What if it was about returning to what already fills your cup, just as you are?

That’s the path to a birth that feels both empowering and calm.

The best way to prepare for birth is by getting to know you. Not the Instagram version, but the real, messy, wonderful you.

Pregnancy isn’t the time to fix yourself or chase impossible standards. A gentler (and more effective) approach is to bring the tools to fit your real life.

Here are a few questions I ask my clients (and that I encourage you to ask yourself):

• How do you unwind?

• Where do you feel safe?

• Who do you feel most open with?

• What people, places, or things bring you joy?

• What are your main sources of stress?

• How do you deal with a bad day?

• What’s your relationship to rest?

When you answer, do it honestly like you’re talking to your best friend, during a rare vulnerable moment. That’s what brave and calm really look like: recreating that sense of safety and honesty within yourself.

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Because I ask this of my clients, I’ll start with vulnerability too

I unwind by watching what I call “popcorn shows” on Netflix — stuff like The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Dawson’s Creek, or Gilmore Girls. When I’ve had a busy day, I don’t want to think. I don’t want to be “on” for anyone. I don’t want to take care of anybody, which as a mom, is really hard to do (but that’s a whole other post).

This is my version of self-preservation: recharging and unwinding. It took me a long time to stop labeling that as lazy.

Knowing what your coping mechanisms are right now helps tremendously, not trying to change them or add new ones just because you’re growing a human. That awareness alone can shift everything.

The 30-Second Breathing Trick

When you’re lying down or winding down at night, try this:

• Notice your jaw, shoulders, and lower belly.

• Ask: Where am I holding tension?

• Can I notice my body without wanting to change it?

• On the next breath, slowly release some tension and breathe deeper into your belly.

• Close your eyes. Take two more breaths like that.

  
  

It takes 30 seconds. You can even write these prompts on sticky notes and keep them near your laptop, your bathroom mirror, even in your car. The possibilities are endless!

That’s how calm becomes muscle memory, not another to-do list. Practicing in real-life moments: stress, joy, or even annoyance helps your body remember what to do when you need it most.

The Joy Factor

Knowing what brings you joy is just as important as knowing what calms you.

For me, it’s music and movement. Something as simple as making a playlist or dancing once a day helped me reconnect to joy during my own pregnancy.

Did I do it every day? No. But even dancing when I could made a difference.

The joy helped me. The movement helped me. And during birth, listening to those same songs grounded me when things got intense.

It all comes back to knowing yourself and finding calm in what feels familiar and ordinary.

The sacred is in the ordinary — this is a hill I’ll die on.

Practicing Calm, Not Perfection

These are the practices that build muscle memory, the ones you use in context, when life is messy and loud. They come in handy during birth.

Slowly, 30 seconds at a time, in a way that looks like you and without trying to become the mythical “perfect” pregnant person we’ve all been sold.

Nothing against yoga-ball bouncers — I love them equally <3

Trust your body. Trust yourself. Own your personality, your wants, your needs. And protect the hell out of them. Then get people in your corner who protect you just as much. You won’t need to control birth. You’ll be centered, calm, and advocating for an experience that matches your spirit.

The Doula Part

My superpower as a doula is asking these questions, getting curious about you. What makes you unique. What grounds you. What lights you up.

Whether it’s me or another wonderful doula, having someone truly see you and walk beside you through this transition changes everything.

If this message resonates with you and you live in Alpharetta or the Atlanta metro area, reach out, I'd love to support you!

👉 Learn more about my birth services

or

📞 Reach out to book a free consult 

— let’s talk about what feeling supported could look like for you.

With love,

Rabsaris